


all the words, melodies and memories

by bugmadoo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, Pillow Talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-26 14:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10788372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugmadoo/pseuds/bugmadoo
Summary: A collection of small drabbles/fics7: Joe/Graham + "Is that my shirt?"





	1. Disneyland

The entrance to Disneyland is bigger than Robert thought it would be even though he saw pictures of it when he booked the trip. He looks over at Aaron walking right next to him, the corners of his lips rising the closer they get, looking as excited as Robert hasn’t seen in a while.  Then he looks over at Liv who’s walking in front of them and Robert would swear there’s a jump to her step that usually isn’t there.

When they get inside it’s emptier than he expected it to be which is a relief. Sometimes he can’t e 

“Liv,” Aaron calls, and waits a moment until she turns around, “what d’you wanna do first?”

“Can we ride ever single rollercoaster?”

Aaron grins and shoot a look at Robert. “Sure.”

It takes them less time than Robert would like until they reach the short queue of the first ride and Robert stomach flutters as he looks up at the metal rails winding through the sky. His stomach feels queasy and when he hears one of the carts speeding along a curve and the people inside it scream, he thinks his heart might give out.

“Everything alright?” Aaron asks and Robert meets Aaron’s eyes. it’s a much more enjoyable view.

“Yeah, why?”

“Your breathing is off.”

The fact that Aaron noticed softens the frown on Robert’s face but it does not do much to calm his stomach.

“I …” Robert starts looking back up at the rollercoaster. He thinks he can see an actual looping and that settles it. “I might have a secret phobia of rollercoasters.”

Aaron laughs incredulously and he tugs Robert along, but Robert refuses to get any closer. He faintly hears Liv call for them but it’s in the back of his mind.

“You’re joking,” Aaron says. Robert shakes his head.

“You’re not? Then why did you bring us here?”

“Well, I’m clearly in the minority here so I thought…” Another cart full of passengers rumbles by and Robert takes a deep breath.

“Alright wait here, we’ll tell you what you missed out on later.”

Aaron kisses his cheek and jogs off to where Liv is standing, throwing Robert a look over his shoulder and giving him a wave. It’s enough to make Robert smile again.


	2. Pillow Talk

Aaron’s eyelids flutter open slowly in the soft light of the morning sun.

Robert’s fingers twitch because he’s been wanting to brush back the hair on Aaron’s forehead for the last ten minutes but he’s managed to stop himself so far. Now that Aaron opened his eyes and is awake, the temptation becomes even harder to ignore.

Aaron’s eyes don’t focus immediately and he looks a thousand miles away even though he’s lying right next to Robert.

“Aaron?” Robert whispers. He lifts his hand into Aaron’s field of vision and stops an inch in front of Aaron’s face. Aaron watches his movement and closes his eyes, a long blink. When he opens them again, the shadow is gone and a slow smile spreads on his face. Aaron lifts his own hands and takes Robert’s, entwining their fingers and setting them down between their chests.

“Morning,” Aaron says. Robert smiles and kisses the top of Aaron’s fingers. It has the desired effect because Aaron is grinning at him and Robert thinks he’d give everything else if it means he gets to always stay with Aaron like this.

“It’s weird,” Aaron starts but he stops himself, a frown forming on his face.

“What is?” Robert asks after a beat, brushing his thumb over Aaron’s palm.

“I slept really well. Haven’t done that in a while,” Aaron says, looking at their hands. “And I keep expecting that bloody buzzer to go off.”

Robert moves his head on his pillow so that their foreheads touch. 

“You’re home now. You’re never going to hear those buzzers again.”

Aaron nods, pressing his eyes closed. 

“Home,” Aaron whispers back.


	3. Pillow Talk 2.0

Robert can’t stop staring. 

He knows it’s ridiculous and maybe a little embarrassing but he thinks he has the right after the couple of days they’ve had.

Robert’s eyes are glued to Aaron’s face, the slope of his nose, his parted lips, his closed eyes. It’s late enough in the day that the sun is up, shining brightly through their courtains and bathing the room in almost bright light. Robert thinks that it’s probably going to be a nice day outside but he can’t really bring himself to care when Aaron is right there, sleeping without a care in the world.

Robert is glad that at least one of them is able to sleep since all Robert sees when he closes is eyes is Aaron’s lifeless body floating in the water. So Robert settles for staring at Aaron’s sleeping face instead.

He doesn’t know how long they lie there until Aaron turns on his side, his eyes scrunch together and he makes sleep soft noises. Robert knows that’s it’s only a matter or moments until Aaron is going to open his eyes then and he secretly entertains himself by counting the seconds until Aaron does. Robert gets to _five_ when Aaron lifts his eyebrows and opens his eyes.

“Morning, fiancé,” Robert says, and a smile is tugging at his lips before he finishes speaking. 

Aaron flashes him a smile, then rubs his eyes, before shuffling closer towards Robert. 

“What time is it?” Aaron asks, voice raspy and rumbling.

“Just past eleven.”

Aaron nods and rests his hand between them. The ring on Aaron’s finger is new enough that it immediately catches Robert’s eye even in the dimmed sunlight. Robert takes Aaron’s hand and with his thumb he runs over the silver band.

The biggest of changes can come from the smallest of things, Robert thinks. The ring itself really isn’t all that remarkable, but it has a heavy pack of symbolism attached to it so Robert still remembers how it felt to put it on Aaron’s finger. It’s silly, really, that small things can have such a big meaning.

Aaron stops Robert’s thumb in its movement and Robert looks up at him.

“It’s not coming off ever again if that’s what you’re thinking,” Aaron says. Robert feels the words land warm on his chest. He lifts Aaron’s hand to his lips and kisses the top of it.

“Good to know,” Robert says, “but that wasn’t what I was thinking.”

“What were you thinking then?” Aaron asks, raising an eyebrow, obviously trying not to grin.

“How many failed attempts it took to put this on your finger.”

“What’re you on about? I asked you, didn’t I?”

“Well, I asked you first,” Robert says, his hand already on its way to tickle Aaron, but Aaron manages to stop him before Robert can do any damage.

When they settle again, Aaron looks curious and Robert wonders if he’s going to ask or not. He does, after a moment.

“So,” Aaron starts, “what about these failed attempts?”

Robert licks his lips before replying. “You didn’t notice what the barn looked like when you got there, did you?”

“The barn?” Aaron raises his eyebrows and huffs a laugh. “You wanted t

“Course. We’ve got a lot of history there, don’t we? Only you had to ruin it with Lachlan in the boot of your car.”

Aaron’s silent for a moment. “That’s why you wanted me to come to the barn? So you could propose?”

“Yeah,” Robert says. “Practiced the speech with Vic and everything.”

“Vic was there?” Aaron looks amused at the prospect.

“She was. Right until you showed up.”

Aaron smiles at him before looking back down on their hands

“In the forest,” Aaron starts and Robert knows he’s connected the dots, “after you told me about your dad … you wanted to proposed then too, didn’t you?”

Robert remembers the moment, of course he does. He thinks that moment of Aaron in the woods is one he’s going to remember for a very long time, and the clarity of the memory still hits him hard in the chest sometimes. Eventually, Robert nods.

“It felt like the right moment. But then I realized I forgot the ring in the car so…”

“You could have done it without the ring.”

“I went and got a ring, Aaron, I wasn’t gonna do it without it.”

Aaron laughs before he lifts his head so he can lie closer, their foreheads touching. “Fair enough.”

They lie in silence, sharing breaths and comfort. The dull sounds of the pub waft through walls but it’s a welcome kind of white noise. Robert goes back to staring at Aaron’s face even though the closeness makes it harder. Thankfully, Robert doesn’t have to be looking at Aaron to be able to see him. He closes the distance between their lips and places a soft kiss on Aaron’s.

“I’m glad you asked,” Aaron whispers.

“Me too,” Robert replies. He doesn’t think he ever meant any words more.


	4. Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert calls Aaron. Episode coda to 26.07.2017.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coda for the Tuesday ep while Aaron is in Ireland and Robert is talking to Vic about how it's all his fault (just for some #context)

It’s dark in the Mill. Once again, it’s dark as night and you haven’t bothered to turn the lights on. There’s no point, you tell yourself, like there hasn’t been much point to anything ever since Aaron left.

The days drag their heels without him here, passing like a blur, very few things distinctive enough to make a dent in the stream of your memories of the last hours. You spend most of the time living in the past, wishing you could turn back time, even though life has already taught you that it’s a futile endeavor, then mentally listing all the things you should have done differently, mapping out where you went wrong, and going back to wishing and hoping and begging a god you don’t believe in to let you make up for your mistakes.

It always ends the same, however. You, in the dark, in the house you thought would be a home and that now just feels empty. (You try not to think about the fact that I was never the house that made you feel welcome here.)

The light of your phone cuts through the darkness like a knife in a fistfight and your head snaps towards it, your blood streaming through your body faster, heart speeding up. You reach for it but the screen goes dark before you have a chance to see what it says and you curse under your breath until you push the home button and it lights up again.

It’s a text, but it’s not from Aaron. That’s all you can register before your vision blurs and you press your eyes closed as if you can pretend it’s him as long as the truth doesn’t stare you in the face. It only takes a second before you realise it’s not working.

You click the screen back to life and unlock it, not even skimming over the notification, and pull up your contacts. As always Aaron is on the very top, the picture of them from Christmas at Wishing Well. A world away.

At first you don’t feel the tear that’s running down your cheek but you see it when it lands on the display, blurring it, and you hurriedly wipe it away. You wipe your hand over your cheek and even though you remember what you said to Vic earlier, you suddenly just can’t resist because there’s a way to Aaron right there just one hit away.

Your thumb pushes the call button and suddenly the dim sound of the dial tone is tinting from the speaker of your phone. You hesitate, unsure if you should just hang up or if you bite the bullet. It’s only when you lift your phone to your ear that you notice that your hand is trembling.

It rings and rings and it shouldn’t surprise you but you still feel disappointment settle in your chest. You try to breathe if off. Inhale  _beep_  exhale  _beep_  inhale  _beep_  exhale  _beep_.

It makes sense, you try to tell yourself. Aaron went to Ireland to get away from you, of course he wouldn’t answer your call. You don’t even bother to tell yourself that it’s just an accident, that Aaron left his phone in his jacket, that he rushed to his phone and missed your call by a few seconds, because you know you were right earlier. This is all on you after all. You’d run a mile if you were Aaron as well.

“It’s Aaron. Leave a message.”

You’re not prepared to hear Aaron’s voice, not prepared at all, and the dark around you becomes darker, your breath gets stuck in your throat and for a second you think your chest might explode. Before you know it, and much too soon, there’s another  _beep_  signaling the start of the recording and you inhale sharply.

“Hey, it’s me,” is the first thing you think to say and you run your free hand through your hair, cursing yourself. “I mean already have to know that it’s me when you – if you listen to this.”

You shake your head, trying to get yourself together. He doesn’t know what the time limit is for voicemails and he feels like he’s wasting it, like he’s once again wasting Aaron’s time.

“I just wanted to hear how you’re doing. I hope you’re better, feeling better.” You fiddle with the corner of the pillow that’s lying next to you. “You deserve to.”

You remember the day of the verdict, remember telling Aaron a thousand times before.

“I just –“ you try to swallow away the lump in your throat but it doesn’t work, “I just miss you. More than I’ve ever missed anything else.”

You lean your head against the back of the sofa, closing your eyes, sniffing your nose, trying not to let the tears spill over because Aaron doesn’t need to hear that. You don’t quite succeed.

“I know this is all my fault, it’s been my fault from the beginning, but I love you and I … I don’t know what to do, Aaron. How pathetic is that, ey? You’re gone and I have no idea what to do with myself.”

You let your head sink and lean your phone against your forehead, just for a moment, just for a minute so you can speak again.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. I’ve been an utter idiot and I’m sorry.”

For the first time in days Robert actually feels like time is moving again and not just running in circles. You don’t know if Aaron is ever going to listen to this but it feels like progress when you think about how Aaron might.

“I know you don’t owe me anything but-“

_Beep. End of voicemail._

It’s fitting, Robert thinks, that he’s cut off in the middle of his sentence. Unfinished, unprepared.


	5. "Alright, I love you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robron + "Alright, I love you."

Robert sighs contentedly when he opens the door of the Mill and it smells like home.

He calls out Aaron’s name before he even turns around. Out of the corner of hi eye he can see that the telly is on although he doesn’t recognise the show that’s on. Robert’s eyes land on Aaron, half sitting half lying on the sofa, arms crossed, face stern and his eyes firmly glued to the TV.

“Aaron?”

The only acknowledgement he gets is a raise of Aaron’s eyebrows. This can’t be good, Robert thinks.

“Alright?” Robert asks, taking off his coat, watching Aaron for any signs that could point to the reason he’s obviously in a bad mood.

Aaron simply grunts as a response and still keeps his eyes off Robert. It makes him nervous and he’s trying to think of a reason why he’s in the doghouse but try as he might, he can honestly say he can’t think of anything.

Robert crosses the distance between him and Aaron and kisses his cheek. Robert notices that Aaron melts into his, the muscles of his shoulders relaxing under Robert’s hand. When he pulls back again, Aaron’s face is relaxed for a bare second before the stern mask is back on his face. Robert frowns.

“Where’s Liv?”

“Jacob’s.”

“Do you want me to make something for dinner? Just the two of us?”

“Tea’s in the oven.”

“You ate without me?”

That makes Aaron look at him finally. “You’re late.”

There it is, Robert thinks.

“Did you not get my text? I told you I’d be late.”

Aaron shrugs and it takes a moment before he answers. “Didn’t think you’d be this late, though.”

“If you want to blame someone, blame Jimmy. Or Joe Tate. If they did their job correctly, I’d’ve been home a lot earlier.”

That almost gets a smile out of Aaron and Robert watches as Aaron tries to school his face again. “They’re not here though, are they?”

“I am. And I’d like to spend the night with my husband,” Robert says, softly, hoping he’s going to break Aaron’s act with it.

Aaron throws an unimpressed glance at him and bites his bottom lip. Robert needs to change his tactic.

“Alright,” Robert says, kissing Aaron’s temple, “I love you.”

He kisses Aaron’s cheekbone, “I love you”, then his cheek, “I love you.”

“What are you doing?” Aaron grumbles, making no move to stop Robert.

“Kissing,” a peck on Aaron’s jawline, “you.” Another kiss on the corner of Aaron’s mouth. “I love you.”

“Stop it you soft git,” Aaron laughs, uncrossing his arms, taking Robert’s hand off his shoulder and tangling their fingers together, leaning his head on Robert’s shoulder. Robert kisses the top of his head and lets Aaron’s warmth seep into his skin.

“I’m sorry I was late. I really tried to be as quick as possible.”

“It’s fine just … try not to be next time.”

“I will,” Robert says, unable to help the grin spreading on his lips. “Does that mean you missed me?”

“No,” Aaron says his voice rising in pitch, which is a dead giveaway, Robert knows.

He kisses Aaron properly this time, cupping his cheek with his free hand, pulling him close and connecting their lips.

“I missed you too, you know?” Robert says, his lips brushing against Aaron’s as he speaks.

“Soft,” Aaron says, the word almost swallowed by the way he continues kissing Robert, but Robert is glad he catches is anyway.


	6. "Sorry, where you sleeping?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robron + "Sorry, were you sleeping?"

Robert lifts the blanket to get into bed as quickly as possible so the least possible amount of cold air could seep in between the sheets and on Aaron’s skin. Robert gets settles in bed, cuddling up to Aaron’s back, arm sneaking around Aaron’s waist, pressing a kiss against the skin of Aaron’s neck.

“Alright?” Aaron asks, running his hand along Robert’s forearms before tangling their fingers together.

“I am now,” Robert says, smiling when Aaron groans in reply.

Robert closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying the moment, drinking Aaron in, their home, the comfort and the love in his chest. He takes a deep breath, taking another moment just to collect himself and remember what he wanted to say.

“You know, Aaron, I was thinking today.” Robert rubs his thumb over Aaron’s. “I don’t want to surprise you with it so I thought I’d ask first but … what do you think about making all of this legal? Get married properly?”

He only hears Aaron huff a breath. Not quite the reaction Robert expected.

“I know we’re already married and it wouldn’t really change anything it’s just to, you know, get it on record officially. But we could have a proper do this time and plan it beforehand.”

For a second, Robert asks himself if this is really happening or if maybe he’s caught in a dream and that’s why Aaron isn’t saying anything.

“And I could tell you about all the legal advantages although I don’t think you’d care much about those. But you’d be my next of kin and we’d have visitation rights if one of us would land in hospital again. Even – the two of us had enough hospital visits to last us a lifetime, don’t we?”

Aaron is quiet again. Robert really wants to know what’s taking him so long to answer. He’s kind of run out of reasons.

“So, what do you say, Aaron? Will you marry me again?”

The only thing Robert can hear is voices coming down the street outside their window.

“Aaron?”

Aaron finally starts moving and turns around, groggily and slowly, and it doesn’t bode well for Robert, he thinks.

“Were you saying something?” Aaron asks, his eyes till half closed, adjusting the pillow below his head.

“Sorry, were you _sleeping_?”

“It’s late, of course I’m sleeping.” Aaron rubs his eyes but still can barely keep his eyes open after. “What d’you wake me up for anyway?”

“Well … will you marry me?”

Aaron frowns. “I thought we already –“

“We are! Of course we are. I just …” He cups Aaron’s cheek. “We should do it officially this time, I mean. Do the paperwork and get it legal.”

Aaron’s eyes stare at him for an extended moment. “Get it rock solid?”

Robert scoots closer, their noses almost touching. “Unbreakable.”

“Well, then I guess I have to say yes, don’t I?”

Robert chuckles. “I should have known that I’ll never get a straight answer to that question from you.”

“You like being kept on your toes, don’t lie.”

The only answer he gives Aaron is a kiss, deep and loving, and full of knowledge that Robert’s the luckiest person in the world to get to marry Aaron not only once but twice.


	7. "Is that my shirt?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe/Graham + "Is that my shirt?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love their dynamic so much.

Joe is late. That in and of itself isn’t the reason Graham is nervous but rather the fact that Joe is late and Graham has no idea where he is. He silently curses the fact that Home Farm is as big as it is and makes his way upstairs towards the bedrooms even though he has little hope of finding Joe there. They’re both not ones to sleep in.

Approaching the biggest bedroom in the house, Graham hears Joe’s voice waft through the closed door, taking Graham by surprise. He knocks on the door once, then opens it, eyes searching for the familiar figure.

Joe turns from where he was looking out the window just as Graham walks through the door. He’s on the phone, wearing pants but nothing else, and Graham silently curses himself for the way he knows his eyes are lingering on Joe’s chest, even just for a moment.

Joe says something to whoever is on the other end of the line that Graham doesn’t bother to register, then raises his eyebrow in question at Graham. He just taps his watch in reply and watches as Joe shakes his wrist before looking at his watch, rolling his eyes in the direction of his phone.

“Mister Brown, I can assure you that-“

Brown. Head of the Supervisory Board. It explains Joe’s delay. Graham is about to leave the room again when he hears a snap of fingers. It’s surprise that makes him stop but it’s annoyance that makes him look back at Joe, one eyebrow raised, looking as unimpressed as possible. He catches the way the corners of Joe’s mouth cock up and feels himself wanting to stay.

Joe is pointing at the shirt lying out on his bed and then holds out his free arm. For a moment, Graham is torn between what’s appropriate and what isn’t, and he hesitates long enough for Joe to notice, judging by the way his arm sinks a bit and he looks away.

Graham crosses the room to Joe’s bed, picks up the shirt by the shoulders to crease it as little as possible, then stands behind Joe to hold it up. He slips in with his free arm, then switches the phone to his other hand to put on the shirt the rest of the way, talking all the while, about company shares, about the next board meeting and about stock prices. Graham is only listening with half an ear.

Joe raises his chin as Graham walks around him, giving him space the close the buttons by his throat.

There’s no electric shock when Graham’s fingers touch Joe’s skin, the world doesn’t stop, there are no butterflies or any other ridiculous romantic notions because Graham does not have the time to tend to those. He does however feel himself draw closer, takes a small step towards Joe, the tips of their shoes touching, as his hands button up Joe’s shirt, one after the other, making Joe’s skin disappear.

Graham is distinctly aware of the fact that Joe finishes the call, his arm sinking to his side. He acutely feels Joe’s eyes on him as he closes the last three buttons and his hands linger a moment longer than necessary on the last one. He lets his hands drop but his eyes fly up, not far enough to meet Joe’s eyes, but high enough to see Joe swallow. For a second, Graham let’s his eyes roam over Joe’s figure, sees how well the shirt is fitted, perfectly lining up with his shoulders, the sleeves the perfect width, the row of buttons running down Joe’s chest and abdomen.

“You’re staring.” Joe says quietly. Graham hates that it’s not a question but a statement. A truth that would be fruitless to deny.

“Is that my shirt?” Graham asks even though he knows it’s not. It’s the first thing he thinks to say.

There’s a pause before Joe answers. “It’s not.”

Graham gives a nod in reply that he knows Joe can see right through, but right now it doesn’t matter. He takes a step back from Joe and clears his throat.

“Thank you,” Joe says, eyes warm, a small smile spreading on his lips.

Graham nods at him, then leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to come say hi or prompt me you can find me at [isaacdingle](http://isaacdingle.tumblr.com)


End file.
